April 17, 2012

{The Lineage of Women}

[This is an excerpt from my upcoming book, The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride ... it's taken from a chapter called "Longing for Love" ... and from a section called "What Do You Really Want?"... hmmmm. Topics and questions the book considers for all women ... stay tuned.]

Princess Diana’s story played a large role in the lineage of women, providing a unique view into the spirit of feminine mystery, the strength of one’s convictions and the dreams, desires and imaginings of all women. Once she stopped trying to manipulate her life and began trusting her heart, she became aware that many of her patterns were not working to bring her the life she wanted—the happiness she longed for. Once she got in touch with her spiritual path and could sense her life purpose, she felt more centered and her heart connection with the public soared. In spite of, because of, or on top of Diana's many complex emotional combinations—her struggles and imperfections (even if the public didn’t know the real story); her unique empathy with the young, the old, the wounded (even if it was because with them she felt comfortable, she knew their language); her warmth and kindness to some (even if she seldom showed it to her husband, members of his circle, or anyone who stole her spotlight)—Diana’s deeply feeling energy sent a mesmerizing vibration out into the world!

Diana’s life showed us that we don’t have to “get it right” to be effective when our hearts are open; and that the times we are closed down, acting small and ungenerous, are the times of our greatest lessons that give us the opportunity to pause and open our hearts again. Once Diana matured a bit, hers became a life that shows we can turn those things we despaired and suffered about into opportunities of grace. “The transition from deflated Princess of Wales to Diana the Good” began!  “[Diana] settled down to doing serious, constructive charity work [and in doing so] found meaning through suffering,” Lady Colin Campbell shared in her 1992 biography. “Beneath the beautiful packaging lies a tender heart and it has made a great deal of difference to the quality of lives of very many people throughout the world.”

As the Princess of Wales put her attention on others and was enlivened by the joy, satisfaction and rewards of service, she also tapped into the essence of the lineage of women. “With her customary thoroughness, Diana approached her newly awakened interest with dogged determination and commendable efficiency. ‘She picked her areas carefully—babies, old people, women, AIDS—all areas that were notoriously difficult and unsympathetic until she got involved with them,’” Lady Campbell added with insights from WomenAid founder, Pida Ripley. Diana’s sense of inadequacy moved her toward her real passion; her new passion grew into a life purpose; her fears became her power points; and her power gave her direction, her way home.

The lineage of women is full of courageous souls who used their fears to propel them forward – inward - outside of themselves into service to others. I love Marianne Williamson’s now famous passage on fear from her A Return to Love book:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Diana indeed liberated thousands. What if one purpose of Diana’s life on a soul level had her complete an old, tired cycle of survival for all women? What if her life established a fresh universal era that began a new lineage for women; a lineage of confident and empowered self-sufficiency that included the innate ability to give and receive unconditional love—to speak with kindness and love, to listen with full attention? What if? What if women retained their mystery yet lost their cynicism? Imagine what that would be like, what it would feel like for all the little girls you know to be able to grow up in a culture with those qualities as the normal way of being for girls and women. No defending yourself, or depending on others like a crutch, or pretending to be someone else—just being you.

If whatever you’re up to doesn’t serve your vibrant health and well-being; if it isn’t nurturing your best self, your inner child, your budding free-spirit, your wise crone, or whatever part of you that needs pampering; if your listening and speaking is not deeply attentive to the other person; or if every word and action is not coming from love—then choose something else! Shift your listening, then your speaking changes, and everything else shifts.

What do you really want? Take a deep, long, slow, luscious breath and let it out slowly, languidly, easily…then answer like your life depends on it. (And it just might.) Or as the Law of Attraction would advise: “You can begin feeling whatever you want (even if it’s not there)…the universe will correspond to the nature of your song.” So sing out loud like a rock star; strut your stuff like the Rockettes; hug people with your whole body; and love each and every moment like it’s your last! ~

["The Lineage of Women" is an excerpt from my upcoming book, The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride ... it's taken from a chapter called "Longing for Love" ... and from a section called "What Do You Really Want?"... hmmmm. Topics and questions the book considers for all women ... stay tuned.]

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